Half Steps Away

The Noble House of Trulla

2009-07-16T23:59:00.003-04:00

I called these people my family
Them not knowing what that meant to me
Them not knowing me at all
Still I chose them for my own reasons
Within a month I knew them all, good and bad
Every lie they'd tell. Secrets they'd hold dear.
I knew Daddy was a cheater and Mom got with him for his money
Brother and Sister lusted for each other behind closed doors
Uncle B can't keep a marriage together, losing two in the last two years
and my little brotheer's lost his faith in love since his wife went and offed herself
He's traded his heart for harlots.
Now I sit here in our home
Drawing the drapes to let in the light every morn
Proudly lining the walls, side by side, are old photos of smiles and disownment certificates
Three seats were filled at last Sunday dinner
I've memorized the voicemails of many
The floor is riddled with broken bottles and broken friendships
That was the fate of the Noble House of Trulla
My friends.
My family.

I love you guys.

He Tried.

2009-07-16T23:52:00.004-04:00

In the darkest night a man weeps
Secretly soft as a mouse but loudly I hear
He laments for your soul so black
Tainted by animosity towards your peers
You scream "Leave me be!" and are followed by the greatest "Fuck you!" he can muster
"I tried"
You've done nothing to deserve his love
Untouched he was. His spark undimmed
But tonight he sits by the roadside
Hoping you're safe, knowing you're not okay
He loves you and wishes you best
but all you seem to manage is hurt
You hurt yourself. You hurt him.
He tried.

Summer Calendar

2009-06-23T22:35:00.001-04:00

There's Us

2009-06-21T23:07:00.003-04:00

Freewrite 6-18-09

You know it took me 5 months, 2 weeks and 4 days
to get through one whole day, 24 straight hours, and not think about you.
Visions of your walk and smile
The incredibly sexy way you moved and breathed
5 months, 2 weeks and 4 days

I was so disarmed
You might have been the most beautiful thing I've ever seen
and all I could feel was disarmed
Like it was impossible to be smooth with you
Charm you like every other nigga would try
No, I had to be real, myself.
And in that I gave you a power I never intended to let go

3 years, 10 months, and some change I've known you
And somehow your antics are still fresh to me
And you always knew what lines not to cross with me
Like I was different for you
But if you drunk dialed me at 3 A.M. again
I wouldn't mind being woken up.

1 year, 7 months, 12 days it's been since you left
and a friend decides to make me bring you up in conversation
And as he recounts some memories, I can't help but think of you
Where you might be? Doing what?
He says you're probably sleeping at 3 A.M.
but I know better.
No. You're out there somewhere
having fun
not thinking about me.
Damn, I hate this.

It took me 5 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days to get you out of my head.
Only 12 seconds to bring you back.

Not everything is supposed to come true
Some words are best unsaid
Some love is not really love at all
I'll keep everything I shared with you
And that's enough
There's us

Freewrite 6-12-09

2009-06-12T22:32:00.002-04:00

I needed to write. Was having a moment.

It would be easy to be anyone else
But no, God saw fit that I should be me
The one that “doesn't do anything”
the damn near straight-edge one
The one who doesn't fuck around
God saw fit that I play the role of everyone's moral compass

And sometimes I just can't stand it
A serious burden. You get to fuck up your life and maybe a few others
But I get the remorse. I get to feel responsible.
And luckily the way I was raised, the way I am keeps me from hating you.
I try not to judge.

However it tries me when you disclose that you can drink thirteen times my excess
or that at least ten vaginas have trace evidence of your presence... this week.
And I look in your eyes
And you're so proud of yourself
And it's all I can do to hold back disgust
Because I don't judge

No instead I counsel you
Comfort you when you get hurt
When everything backfires I play big brother
I know it's all in one ear
and right out the other.
My wisdom is lost on you
Because this is all you know
Living a life reminiscent of the $5 hood books on the street has become your main talent
I would commend you on the performance
But I'm still holding back that disgust

So instead I don't break character as friend.
I leave my door open and phone on for you always.
Pray for your clarity and hold on to my sanity best I can
After all we can't both go crazy
We'd be such a mess.
A fun mess, but still a mess.
No. I'll be your “straight-arrow”
The one who won't fuck around
The damn near straight-edge one
The one that doesn't do anything.
God and I saw fit I be that.

brooklyn rooftop, part II

2009-05-24T12:33:00.001-04:00

brooklyn rooftop, part II

Dying stars shine bright again
growing in their final nova
Points, over time, come back
and intersect at an arbitrary axis

Summer loves reunited in
a drunken lustful stupor,
each taking what they please from one another
They don't blame

the rooftop
time capsule cracked
to find argument
drunk dialing
and [temporary] separation

a Bronx apartment
forever remembered
eternally haunted
the broken sink will never forget

Untitled

2009-05-17T23:10:00.000-04:00

It's been a while. Wrote something while out today.

Do you remember the way I held your hand?
Long ago when things were easier
When we didn't have to think
When things were natural
You were my best friend and I loved you
It was more beautiful because I could see what was wrong with you.
You had cracks and scuffs
I stayed anyway

Then things went sour
Every step feels overly meticulous
Planned with utmost care as to not shatter something like a bull in a glass house
Our effort could be used elsewhere
Maybe we should stop
Maybe we should throw stones
I want to.
Do you?

I remember when all I could think of was trying to go back
If I just held your hand it would feel the same
Your cracks could heal
Your scratches, I could buff them
But I changed you.
I changed you and your scratches became more pronounced.
You cracks, deeper.
I changed you and I'm sorry
I'm sorry I can't fix you
I'm sorry you don't want me to
I'm sorry it hurts
And I'm sorry I changed you into something I can't look at.

Making a Change

2009-03-18T01:12:00.002-04:00

Making a Change (Stronger) [Pre-edit]

No more wasting time

No more self doubt

This is my time to shine, to get mine

There'll be no turning around

No excuses

Complacency is dropped from my vocabulary

Because today is a brand new day

And the past is gone

No more shadows rolling over my head

Because I'm making a change

Things will be going my way

And I'm not afraid to seize the day

I'm stronger than I was yesterday

and I'm ready to make a change

So afraid of what people would think

Scared out of being myself

Second guessing every step I would take

But thats over now

I've found my light

Faith and trust will get me by

Because today is a brand new day

And the past is gone

No more shadows rolling over my head

Because I'm making a change

Things will be going my way

And I'm not afraid to seize the day

I'm stronger than I was yesterday

and I'm ready to make a change

It's Been a Long Time, I Shouldn'tve Left Ya

2008-12-04T21:21:00.002-05:00

I know it's been a long time since posting, but I haven't abandoned this blog.
I wrote some stuff so heres something to play with for a while.
I'll post more when life is less hectic.

-Untitled-

Did you mean what you said?
Is he who you care about instead?
The one you gave your heart, while you left mine frozen

I tried following my heart
I should have listened to my head
Instead of following your breadcrumbs leading me nowhere

-

I didn't mean those things I said
When I said I couldn't see you again
that it would hurt to much, though separation hurt more

I wanted you to hate me
I wanted to hate you back
My pride was hurt and I kept on falling

The World Has It's Shine

2008-10-25T20:30:00.008-04:00

So this week was amazing. I wish my life was always like this.

Monday

I went out with my family for dinner on City Island. Good food and it was fun. I actually got a really good nights rest too. Oh and Smart Guy is one of the best decisions BET has ever made. I'm sure viewership has gone up since they brought that show back.

Tuesday

My birthday (libras stand up!) was great. Me a bunch of Trulla people piled up into Vinny's car and went to the movies. We went to see Max Payne but it was sold out. We wound up seeing Sex Drive which actually was really good.

Wednesday

For a few weeks now chamber chorus has been preparing for Tech's 85th Anniversary Gala. We were to perform with Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul & Mary. When we met Peter a few weeks ago he turned out to be a really fun old hippie guy. The gala wednesday night was amazing. Beforehand, we got to see Peter Yarrow basically talk to the sound people like four year olds (they weren't doing a very good job. I mean my friends from stageworks do better work than these guys were doing). So we sang a few numbers, ate , drank, and danced. Lots of fun. Especially seeing Dibo come by our tables and start collecting the half empty wine bottles.

Thursday

Once again got a good nights sleep. Maybe this time because I woke up at 11:30. Not a good look though since chamber chorus had an audition for Lil' Mama's show in November. When I got there I heard we had bombed the first number 'Ezekiel Saw the Wheel'. I obviously would be killed later by Dibo for missing it. Lil' Mama (who didn't show) was called by one of the producers to listen to us sing. We sang "Don't Laugh At Me' and did a much better job at it. It was significantly easier. We got the show and I survived the day although I felt like a douche for being late (thanks Joey).

Friday

Also a really good day. Our school had a pep rally to celebrate the release of High School Musical 3. While I'm neither a hater nor the shows greatest fan it was a lot of fun. Fox 5 even televised the event on Good Day New York. Chamber chorus also did that show as well. We did the Tech Alma Mater, some old cheer, and 'Don't Laugh At Me" again. A lot of us thought "Don't Laugh..." was a bad choice but it's whatever. From what I heard we did didn't make the news.

Video was amazing. We watched 'The Usual Suspects'.

SING rehearsal was especially taxing. I lost one singer. Have no idea how to get in contact with another. I'm doing one of the songs and I have still yet to rehearse two people in an act that's about done. I have to finish the Alma Mater tommorow. Rehearse it Monday and my director has issues with who I picked to do it. I haven't killed anyone yet. Mercy me.

Before I met you
I used to dream you up
and make you up in my mind
And all I ever wanted
Was to be understood.
You’ve been the only one who could.
I could never turn my back on you.

And whatever it takes.
I’m gonna make my way home.
We can turn our backs on the past
And start over…

Not long ago
I gave up hope
But you came along
You gave me something I could hold on to.
And I want you.
More than you could ever know.
It’s you.

Fun Stuff. Let's see what I this week throws at me.
-Le Music Mage

Welcome to the New Administration.

2008-10-05T23:45:00.004-04:00

I'm not the most politically active person but these are awesome. Enjoy.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Later
-Le Music Mage

Showtime

2008-10-02T03:57:00.004-04:00

Yea. I haven’t posted in a month.

School is in session. Life has gotten much brighter. I have amazing classes. Web design and Film/Video. Chamber Chorus and Drama. Yea, you wish you had these classes. Well if you’re reading this chances are you do. Got volleyball for gym. Pretty happy with the schedule.

SATs are this Saturday. I totally did no preparation whatsoever. Let’s see what happens.

School wasn’t open for a week before there was drama. I won’t give names but some people need to get their shit together.

Okay so SING (student created productions) is starting early this year. I planned on going an extracurricular diet. At the first SING meeting it seems some people decide to throw my name in there for musical director (EVEN THOUGH I SAID I WASN’T DOING IT!!!). Some people decided then to find me on the street, or send me lot’s of text messages and beg me to do it. I wanted the job. So I took it. Damn. SING is the show that came with the most drama (although last years spring musical was up there). Ramona has decided to get t-shirts with sayings on them.

Senior SING: Full of Drama

Everyone’s pregnant. LOL

A good friend of mine’s birthday is this weekend so HAPPY B-DAY AMETHYST!

I need a party.

Okay so this Christmas my mom wants to go to Barbados. I wanted to go, but now that I know my friends will be around I wanna stay. But now she doesn’t wanna give me the money she would have spent on my tickets. I wanna be in NYC, but not broke. One of my friends parent’s is going away and most of my other friends will still be in the city so that means maximum hang out time.

Still haven’t found a new job yet

Senior SING: It Goes There

I’m really gonna be needing that portfolio soon. College admissions are coming up.

There’s this program giving out money to senior artists. Me and a few friends are think of sending things in. They have divisions in music, graphics, photography, video, drama, etc. If you need the money then you should check it out.

YoungArts.org

I love web design. It’s not totally hard like I thought it would be. Lot’s of studying though. Damn Javascript.

So Chamber Chorus is doing the Tech 85^th Anniversary Gala. We get to do the show with Peter Yarrow of the folk group Peter, Paul and Mary. We’re actually rehearsing with him tomorrow, or today, its late leave me alone! Anyway I’ve been listening to their old stuff and I’m getting into it. Puff the Magic Dragon has taken over me and Brandon (S.)’s brains.

Oh also if you’re reading this and you know fluent sign language then it’ll get you a free dinner at the gala.

Senior SING: The Heat Is Rising

My mom got an HDTV. My TV feels inferior. Hers even has VGA input. I’m so jealous. I’m debating still on whether the 100 dollar converter box is even worth it.

The Zune finally got updated. So Jacob my Zune now has a clock, and games. It’s stats are officially above the Ipod of its class. Jacob smiles.

I’m finally back into the swing of all nighters and late night chats. Somethings never change.

I’m sick of the Industrial Design kids hating on Media for the new mac lab and our funding. Guess what? We haven’t had funding for years before that. Furthermore, we did not ask for a mac lab. Our teachers asked for a mac lab after doing work for the alumni foundation. We earned that shit. Not only that but it’s not even all it’s cracked up to be. I’m sorry Asher is screwing your major. But do something about it. Get all of your teachers involved. FIX IT INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO FIX IT.

Senior SING: Oh No She Didn’t

Rotating
I’m shaking
I hope you turn around in time
Tide is changing
I’m waiting
But you and I are one of a kind

I’ve been to both hemispheres over my short years
I still can’t pick my favorite place
The contour of your lips
They match the continents
And I still love the way that you taste

I need the product of your fears in the form of tears

It’s the only way I can survive

It breaks my heart to see you crying baby

It’s the only way I’ll stay alive

Green eyes, blue skies

Natural disasters when she cries

Green eyes, they’re mine

It’s only a matter of time

Time - Cute is What We Aim For

Senior SING: Those shoes are mine betch!

So add some tag lines for the sing t shirts

More to come

Nights

-Le Music Mage

Let It Be

2008-08-27T23:40:00.005-04:00

So it's been a while guys. Hope you've been taking care of yourselves. Here's what going on with me lately.

-Remember that job I got? The one that was supposed to pay for my phone and new Zune....? Well the damn city decided they didn't want to pay me correctly. I call to check my debit balance one night and I'm missing almost $200. I went to take care of things and it looks like they never found my time sheet for that week. Needless to say, I was pissed as hell. Well I'll see on the 29th what's going to happen with that money.

-Well I still got enough money together for my new Zune. Second Generation 80 GB in Black. I named it Jacob. I love it. So shiny.

-Summer school has ended. Funny that once the gym teacher started letting us play volleyball I didn't want it to end. Hell that week was better than my last week of freedom. That's really sad. The english teacher is moving to a school in Staten Island. He was cool too. I'm going to miss my senior friends while I'm filling out my senior year. Love you guys. It's been fun.

-I owe my parents a large sum of money. I need a new job.

-My mother is amazing. She bought me the new Sidekick. We were in the mall and my aunt's phone rings. It's my mother asking what color sidekick shell would I like.I then freak out and run down the escalator. Yes, I almost fell. There she is with a bag in her hand signing papers. I love her. I do have to pay her back for it, but still, i don't know when I would have gotten it if I had to pay for it.

If it's Hip Hop, if it's Be-bop
Reggaeton of the metronome
In your car, in your dorm,
nice and warm,whatever form
If it's Classical, Country Mood,
Rhythm & Blues, Gospel
Whatever it is, let it be

-My dad took me and my sister on vacation to a Disneyworld resort. It was a bittersweet experience. There was a lot of fun. Theme Parks, rides, the whole nine. My sister, however, took it upon herself to bitch and moan 77% of the time. This after me having lent her my larger microSD card (because she couldn't find her mp3 player), my headphones (our cousin borrowed hers), and other things. Of course that didn't matter though. She will still bitch and moan. To top it off, the Disneyworld resorts are made of some material that blocks cell phone reception when indoors and they charge $10 a day for internet. This made it very hard to do things like post to this blog and contact the outside world in general. So no internet, no friends, and a whiny sister has made me believe that DISNEYWORLD IS THE TRUE AXIS OF EVIL.

-A friend of mine introduced me to the band Cute Is What We Aim For. I'm kinda into them now. I've uploaded the albums. You can download them here.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KTFR2Z6K

-I also got a chance to listen to "Fast Times at Barrington High" from The Academy Is.... I'm liking this one too. The vocals aren't as impressive as the ones on "Santi" but this one feels less produced and more like a down to earth band you hear around town. I'm obsessed with "his Girl Friday", "Seed", "Sleeping With Giants (Lifetime)", "Everything We Had", and "Bulls In Brooklyn". A few of those coming soon to the music section.

If it's deeper Soul
If it's Rock & Roll
Spiritual, Factual, Beautiful, Political,
Somethin' to roll to
Let it be, whatever it is

-Last year I had some amazing writer's block. I learned to write music, but then I could not write lyrics anymore. Well i wrote a melody and a friend of mine, Dikyi Ukyab, offered to write me lyrics. She managed to get some great stuff out. Problem was she never finished. Since I started writing again I decided to finish the song. I told her I'd co-write something with her. I'd plan on working with her again soon too.

Speak to me softly
Like I’m far away
There’s a wall between us
It’s standing in our way
I’m straining my ears
Waiting to hear you
When will you come through?

Before this day I have
Never felt so alone
I know your gentle voice
As if it were my own
I’m waiting patiently
Don’t you know I need you?
Baby when will you come through?

Love, fame, or riches
That’s what people search for
But once I get back to you
I won’t be searching anymore

I wait to hear your call
And then I’ll know
That I’ve found you

The bridge is still the part I wanna change but I told myself I'd leave it alone for a while. Thanks Dikyi.

-This summer I planned on seeing lots of free park concerts. Summer school and work didn't agree with me. However I would not miss Jill Scott at Wingate Park. I went with my good friend Nick. THE CONCERT WAS AMAZING! Jill's vocals were on point and maybe even better live than in the studio. Definitely much more daring. "He Loves Me (Lyzel in E flat)" was kicked of aria style and Jill definitely showed the audience what she can do with her extensive range. The night was maybe my best the entire summer. It was so good I got grounded for it. I didn't call when the concert let out and didn't get home until after 2. Damn it was sooooo worth it.

-Since my grounding I have been invited to 5 parties now. One of which I planned for my friend Alex while I was away in Florida. Irony sucks when it's happening to you. Where the hell were all these parties when I was ome, bored, and not trapped?

-I am so excited for school. Junior year I finally got my life in a way where I was happy with my normal routine. Summer completely fucked with that and didn't have a greater alternative to hand me. So, I'm ready to hand in my sunglasses for textbooks if it means getting my friends back, getting to sing everyday, giving up my boring nights to edit things for media. It's a trade I'm eager for.

Why do I feel trapped inside a box,
when just don't fit into it?
Maybe I've been scared knowing
what's there in front of me
Maybe I been tryin to be
what they needed me to be
When I should of just been me
Why?
Whatever it is, let it be
Let it be, whatever it is
Whatever it is, let it be

More to come soon.

My World

2008-07-26T23:52:00.003-04:00

So it's summer. I still hate it, but it's been kinder to me as of late. First the bad. Then the good.

It's bad enough I'm in summer school, but this is just terrible. My Zune was stolen. So I'm in third period gym. I have basketball. I hate basketball. I'm tired. I'm hungry. My teacher tells us to bring our things to the gym instead of finding another place to put them. Normally I'd use the auditorium, the spark counselors room, or another hiding spot. He tells us if we bring our stuff he can keep them safe from theft. I go to use the bathroom. When I get back he's moved the class to the weight room. My bag is in the corner open. I check my pants and my Zune is missing. When I tell the teacher what happend he replies with "Wow that sucks! Sorry but there's nothing I can do about it."Damn

I recently had a run-in with the police. I did some bad things, but I'm off the hook. Some cops really do care.

I have an amazing job. I go in early in the morning. I sign in. I leave. I love it.

I managed to write a song. I haven't written song lyrics in years so this was pretty big for me. It followed an extremely bad week and some rum to make me feel better. God I really hope alcohol isn't my muse. Alcoholism isn't funny kids.

"Expectations locking you in
But what can you say?
They’re too rough on us
We need time to play

Forget you responsibilities
Remake your world just follow me

Come, run away with me
Let’s change our destinies
You know that every star that shines for us is a light we’ll use to find our way.
You and I have a chance to find
Something new, but in our own sweet time
Just remember that, I’m there for you if you’re there for me.
Let’s find a sweet reverie.

Constant distraction
Muddles your view
Let’s change up the focus
Lighten the mood
Blind ambition
Will lead you astray
Just take it easy
And find your own way

All things will come in their own time
Just live for this moment, stop waiting in line"

Not my best work ever.

So anyway I needed a new place to chill with my friends. I was walking with my friend Jose up De Kalb in Brooklyn. I managed to find a small comfortable coffee shop. It's decorated with art by locals. There's comfortable furniture. To top it off the stuff is cheaper and better than Starbucks. I asked my friend Rachel if she knew any indie coffee shops in NYC, to which she replied "Didn't Starbucks eat them all?" Needless to say we were both very surprised. I love this place. To hell with the mall.

I have not played a musical instrument in a while. It would help if I didn't suck at guitar since I lack a piano in my home. My music teacher took care to lock all the pianos in my school for the summer.

I had several opportunities to try weed this month. At first I think i was all for it. Maybe even a little excited. However it was never convenient nor did I have a reason to try except for curiosity. The only thing was it was free. Not that you really get high off your first time anyway. My friend had tried fire kush on his first try. Not very smart but it wasn't his fault.

Apparently all of my friends had a forum and decided "Hey, let's tell Kamel all of our deep dark secrets and talk about each other behind our backs...." It's a bit weird. I'm not used to trying to solve problems I haven't been faced with but it's becoming increasingly easier. I'm not surprised by anything so I don't make people feel akward but it's just really weird.

I miss living in Brooklyn. I hate the Bronx. Not on it's own merit of course. It's just not home to me.

Club Banger has been keeping me up to date on dance music. Since I hit the indie scene I haven't really been keeping up. Drop some music blogs in my comments to help me out or just mention some bands in there.

Is It Fall Yet? Summer's still in full swing. Ugh.

No Hay Igual

2008-07-03T02:47:00.005-04:00

So guys it is officially summer and things are finally into getting into full swing. Here's what my summer is looking like.

-Summer school. Every diligent students worst nightmare has just topped itself. Summer school now lasts until 2:20. Funny since school normally ends at 2:40. The entire student body is programmed for lunch. Not only that but I feel like a jackass because the classes I have could have been avoided if I would have just gone to them. The principal himself asked me why aren't I going to class when I do so well on standardized tests. Even if to only get a 55 you still won't have to retake the class. It's my fault. I'm an idiot.

-Work. I applied for an SYEP job. This means I'm working horrible hours for minimum wage. That Sidekick is going to be so worth it. Too bad summer school is cutting into my hours, but my supervisor is being cool about it.

-So changes went on in my house. Let's just say it left me with a new bigger bedroom. I'm liking the new space. I get a closet in my room. I bought my own bookcase. Now I just need lots of posters.

-I actually finished a project in my graphics class on time. Check it out. Click for full image.

Media Major Rocks!

-So I've narrowed down my choices of schools to: Mannes, Berklee, Hunter, Brooklyn, and SUNY Purchase. Most of these will require auditions of I guess my voice and or a portfolio of my compositions. I've got lot's of work to do.

-Since starting to do the group thing I've come to realize how important having a phone is. Once again that Sidekick better be worth it.

-Sibelius > Finale. It is a fact. I've tried both and Sibelius pwns.

So this is pretty much life for now. Here's to hoping the summer doesn't get too boring.

Unraveling

2008-06-05T12:52:00.000-04:00

So over the last two weeks

-my chorus sang at NYU in front of some big teachers at music schools to determine if we deserve a medal. When I say it like that it sounds kinda trivial doesn't it? This is my first year going to NYSSMA ( the organization that does the judging). I never thought it would be possible that we could do this. Last year the same group couldn't even start a major work let alone be judged on it. So I'm glad my class got it together and we could do this. We won a silver medal. Go for gold next year guys.

-I found out that my physics teacher is a dean. I found this out when she told me she ran a cut scan on me. I cut 150 classes according to her. Funny though, none of which were in her class. Talk about not minding ones own business. I understand a teachers readiness to help a student in need, but it had already been taken care of. And quite frankly, I've never felt comfortable talking to her. So when she tries to confront me about this situation she gets bullsh*t answers. I was hoping she'd leave me alone. No such luck. At least school's almost over.

-my chorus conductor, Dibo, walks up to the front of the room. "Anyone who wants to be in chamber chorus next year sit in the front row. You will take a sightreading test right now." At this point I'm nervous as hell. Since Dibo has gotten to know me better this year, he knows how well I can sightread. I expected to get some long crazy 6/8 metre piece to sing for him. If I mess it up I won't be able to at least sing another song to make up for it. Eventually I get called into the hallway. He shows me a piece. Common metre. Some jumps but nothing too far. I guess he decided to go light. Of course start and the next minute goes by so fast. I feel like I must have messed up some thing. "You nailed it." I think I screamed. The next class my name was on the chamber roster. I think I've been waiting for that moment for a while. My goal since my last chamber audition was to grow as a musician now. When I first met Dibo I couldn't sightread, play piano. My only one up on anyone else was I wanted to learn, I had great intonation, and I had already come out of my shell. I guess the entire year I had something to prove to myself, but I realized being in chamber doesn't make me anymore awesome than I already was at that moment. I just had to embrace it.

-my friend Eli and I traded guitars. I was sitting in a Burger King the day I took it home. I pulled it from the case and a quarter from my pocket. In the course of 15 minutes I think I bonded with this instrument. I'm not very good but I did some nice sounding stuff in that 15 minutes.

-I made a little section of target my new hangout. It's comfortable, cozy, kinda intimate and quiet. Now if I can just avoid getting kicked out.

-i started reading A Thousand Splendid Suns. It's driven me into hatred of adults and now marriage. Way to go Khaled Hosseini!

-i had to write a memoir for english class . So I wrote it about a very special girl and how she changed my life, if only indirectly. I worry about her sometimes though. Pip was better off without Stella, but was she better off without him?

Here's hoping to a better week

This is what Soulja Boy is doing to our youth:

Also if anyone hasn't noticed all the musical references yet (duh) my post will all be named after a song. Have fun trying to understand these ^_^.

He's Mad as Rabbits

2008-05-31T22:09:00.001-04:00

So. This is my blog. I somehow knew this first post would be awkward. Like walking into a room full of people you don't know, except if you're reading this you most likely know me. Anyway onto the basic stuff.

Me

I'm of the male persuasion. Quite young but mature for my age (yes, I know everyone says that). I'm black with some native mixed in there. I've been told I'm good looking. I'm not that tall, not that short. I'm not fat but I wouldn't call myself athletic either.

I am a musician. I sing and I compose. I love what I do. I take it very seriously. I'm a glutton for learning experiences.

I'd say I have a mellow personality. I'm easy to get along with. I keep a lot of friends.

I live in New York City. Yes it's as amazing as it looks. I can get ice cream at 4 a.m. if I feel like it.

The Title

One morning I was sitting in 2nd Period Soccer. I was unprepared fr class so I sat out. Bored I sat on the sidelines and I thought of Fall Out Boy's "Afterlife of the Party". Patrick sings "I'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart." I sort of felt the same way about my future being so close. A half step is the smallest interval between two distinct notes in Western music. It's awfully small but easy to overshoot if you don't know what your doing so you must take care not to overstep it. That's basically how my brain works sometimes. It gave me Half Steps Away and I think it's a good representation of where I'm at right now.